what an awful scary emotionally draining night. first, someone gets shot a block from me. when i try and get support from friends they are unsensitive. here i am scared and they couldn't care less. then, there's an earthquake. then, i decide to be a masochist and go on this online dating website i met my ex and check out his profile. i haven't been on this site since oct 07 but decided for some reason to revisit the site. i decide to click on his profile and see he's now not only in a relationship but in love. he really really hurt me and my relationship with him was emotionally draining and difficult. i was hurt in the process of our relationship and during the breakup. it was intense and very painful. and now i see he's in love with someone else. my heart hurts again. i never loved him but i still feel pain. i've been upset and on edge lately. i need a friend. i've tried to reach out to one friend but i feel like it wouldn't work for him to be my friend and emotionally support me because he's attracted to me. i feel like just talking isn't enough for him. he keeps on pushing me further than i'm comfortable with. he's a nice guy but he doesn't understand that i can't just try and like him. or let him touch me when i don't want him to. i've felt so powerless to men in relationships in the past and i don't want to feel that way again. even if the guy in question compliments me a lot, does nice things for me etc etc. i can't let a man have his way with me again just because he wants to.